Episode 15 • Making a decision
Have a hunch
Be at a crossroads
Consider your options
Toy with an idea
Stick to your principles
Story
Lately, my best friend David has been acting strange. I know he has a girlfriend now, Rosie, and that takes most of his free time but lately he seems busier than usual. One day, I saw him walking down the street and, I don’t know why, but I had a hunch, so I decided to follow him. I walked behind him for a few minutes until he stopped. I couldn’t believe it! He was kissing another girl! I knew I was at a crossroads. I considered my options – I could talk to him right away or go talk to his girlfriend and tell her everything. I have to be honest, for a moment, I toyed with the idea of telling Rosie, maybe she would be so thankful she would want to become my girlfriend. But no, I couldn’t do this to him. I decided to stick to my principles. And according to my principles, friends come first. I walked up to him, ready to confront him, I was a few inches away, I tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and… ‘Oh, sorry man! I thought you were someone else!’ I promise he looked just like David!
Questions
Okay, ready for today's expressions?
Have a hunch
'I had a hunch.'
• If you have a hunch, are you sure something is happening or is that just a feeling?
The guy in the story didn't know why he wanted to follow his friend. He had a hunch. You know that little voice inside your head, or that feeling in your body of, "Hmm, this is suspicious. I don't know why. It doesn't make sense, but I have this feeling." Well, that feeling is called a hunch.
• Do you trust your hunches?
I do. If I have a hunch, I'll always investigate. Maybe I'll ask questions. I don't know. If I have a hunch, I'll trust it.
Be at a crossroads
'I was at a crossroads.'
• If you’re at a crossroads, how many options do you have?
Both literally and not. If you are at a crossroads, that means you have two options. You can either usually go right or go left. You have to make a decision, and you can only choose between those two options.
• How serious are the consequences that each decision could have?
Guys, if we're talking about, "Okay, I want to get the blue shirt, and I want to get the yellow shirt," I cannot say I'm at a crossroads because it doesn't really have huge consequences, the decision that I'm going to make. Just like in the story, if I'm considering telling my friend and maybe potentially losing the friendship or telling the girlfriend and breaking them up, that is when you're at a crossroads because the consequences of the two possible decisions are very important.
• Have you ever been at a crossroads in your life?
I think, just like anybody else, I have been at many crossroads in my life. The thing is that I don't really realize it because I'm very impulsive when it comes to making decisions. I don't really stop and think, "Oh my gosh, what if I do this? What if I do that?" There have been times, for example, when I decided to move to Spain, I was at a crossroads because I could have stayed where I was and continued with my job. Instead, I decided to quit everything and move to a different country. I was at a crossroads there, but I didn't feel like I was at one because I didn't stop and think. I didn't stop to think, "Oh my gosh, what is the outcome of this? What is the consequence of that?" Yes, every time you have to make a major life decision and you have two options, you can say that you are at a crossroads.
Consider your options
'I considered my options.'
• If you’re considering your options, have you already made a decision?
You're still considering your options, so no, not yet. You're still thinking about the decision that you have to make.
• If you’re considering your options, how carefully are you thinking about them?
You're considering your options pretty carefully.
• Do you ever consider your options by writing them down?
Not really. I feel like it doesn't really help me. I prefer to maybe talk to someone. That way, I can get an opinion, but yes, writing it down doesn't work for me.
Toy with an idea
'I toyed with the idea of telling Rosie.'
• If you toy with an idea, have you made a decision or not yet?
You're still toying with the idea. You have that idea in your mind and you're considering it, but you haven't made a decision. You're just, "Maybe this could be an option." This is what's going on in your head when you're toying with an idea.
• If you toy with an idea, how seriously do you consider it?
If you're toying with an idea, it means you're thinking about it, but in the back of your head, you know that you probably won't do it. It's more like you like the idea of allowing yourself to think that maybe this is an option, but really, you know deep down that that's not a good option for whatever reason.
• Do you ever toy with the idea of becoming rich?
This is a good example of toying with an idea. I think it's something that a lot of people do. I do toy with that idea sometimes. I do fantasize like, "Oh my gosh, I could go to this place. I could buy this thing, or get this." When I toy with this idea, I'm mostly imagining myself getting at least one massage a week. That's probably the first thing that I would do if I had money.
Stick to your principles
'I decided to stick to my principles.'
• If you stick to your principles, do you do things that you think are ethically right or wrong?
Sticking to your principles means doing things that you think are ethically right. Again, you can have certain principles and I can have other principles, but sticking to those principles means that you follow them.
• Do you always stick to your principles? Can you make an exception sometimes?
I want to say 99% of the time, yes, I do stick to my principles. One of my principles is honesty. I do believe in honesty. I think it's one of the most important things you can do for a relationship, whether it's a romantic relationship, a friendship, or within the family. Being honest is the best thing that you can do, but sometimes I do occasionally tell a white lie. I guess that's not sticking to my principles, but that's all right. It's only a one small lie. How bad can it be?
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