Episode 13 • Making a decision
A no-brainer
Follow your gut
Have second thoughts
All things considered
Change your mind
Story
We met at a small bar in Vegas. She was the one who approached me. It was 11pm and we both had had quite a few drinks. I can’t quite remember how we got to that. I just remember that half an hour into our conversation she said: ‘Let’s get married!’. I couldn’t believe it! I was in my mid 40’s, single, and this beautiful woman said she wanted to marry me! It was a no-brainer. I decided to follow my gut and said ‘Let’s do it!’. The Vegas chapel was only a few minutes away, so we took a taxi and left. While sitting in the back of the taxi, I started to have second thoughts. She wouldn’t stop talking! How annoying! But, all things considered, I thought maybe getting married wasn’t such a bad idea. We finally got to the chapel and she was still talking… Was she even breathing? We got ready and walked up to the altar and she still wouldn’t shut up. She wouldn’t even let the officiant speak! That’s it, I thought. I looked at her and the only thing I could say was ‘Sorry, but I’ve changed my mind’. You’ll never believe it, but she actually stopped talking then.
Questions
Okay, let's move to the questions.
A no-brainer
'It was a no-brainer.'
• If a decision you have to make is a no-brainer, is it very difficult or very easy to make?
We're talking about a no-brainer, so you don't have to use your brain. It's that simple. It's that easy to make that you don't have to use your brain.
• Can you give me two options to choose between that represent a no-brainer?
A no-brainer for me would be, for example, "Hey, do you want fish, or ice cream?" Well, that's a no-brainer. I'm going to choose ice cream because I don't like fish and I love ice cream. So, obviously, I don't have to even think about it. It's a no-brainer. Give me all the ice cream you have.
Follow your gut
'I decided to follow my gut.'
• If you follow your gut, you make a decision based on an intuition or a logical analysis?
Your guts are the part that's inside your tummy, inside your belly. When you're following your gut, you are following, basically, your body. Yes, what your body's trying to tell you. So, you're not really thinking. It's more of an intuition.
• Do you think it's good to follow your gut when making a decision?
I think you shouldn't only follow your gut, obviously, because sometimes you have to think of things logically, but I do believe you should trust your intuition. I think if it's not something super crazy, you should follow your gut. At least that's the way I live by.
• Do you normally follow your gut when making a decision?
Like I said, I do. I am a believer in following your gut, trusting your instincts. So, yes, I do. At least I try to. Sometimes it's not easy, but yes.
Have second thoughts
'I started to have second thoughts.'
• If you’re having second thoughts, are you sure about a decision you’ve made?
Let's think back to the story. This guy has made a decision, he's decided to marry the girl, and now he's having second thoughts. When he's in the cab, when he's in the taxi, he's having second thoughts. He's not so sure about what he's decided.
• Do you often have second thoughts after making a decision?
I usually don't. I think I'm one of those people that I really think a lot about a decision that I have to make. Then, once I've made it, though, it's like I don't really reconsider it or I don't think about it. So, I normally don't have second thoughts. Yes, it's happened very rarely to me.
All things considered
'All things considered, I thought maybe getting married wasn’t such a bad idea.'
• If you use the expression ‘all things considered’ before expressing an opinion, are you considering only the good things or also the bad things about a situation?
The guy in the story, he's considering some positive things about the girl. She's beautiful and she wants to get married, so it seems perfect. But he's also considering the negative things, which is she wouldn't stop talking. When you use 'all things considered', you're really using it because you're thinking about the situation as a whole, not just the good things, not just the bad things, but everything altogether. Let's try to apply this to a situation.
• Let's try to apply this to a situation. Imagine you went to a party and everyone arrived late. So, that's already something bad, and also there's not enough food for everybody. Again, another bad thing. But then, in the end, everyone had a lot of fun. How can we use the expression 'all things considered'?
I'm going to say, "All things considered, the party was a success." Meaning, "I've considered the good. Everybody had fun, and I've considered the bad, that people were late and the food wasn't enough. But, you know what? In the end, it was a success. All things considered, it was a success."
Change your mind
'Sorry, but I’ve changed my mind.'
This is a really bad thing, by the way, to say at the altar, so don't say it. If you have to say it, say it before or after, but not at the altar, especially if you have your friends and family there.
• If you change your mind, do you have the same opinion or plan as before or a different one?
Changing your mind means changing opinion or changing plans.
• Do you often change your mind?
I change my mind all the time. Remember when I said that I don't have second thoughts? That's mostly for big decisions like, "I want to move to this country." Okay, great. I go for it. I don't have second thoughts, but every day, like daily in my life, every second, I often change my mind. I, like, "Okay, I want to go out. No, maybe it's not a good idea. Okay, I'm going to watch a movie. I'm not really into it." I'm constantly changing my mind and I drive myself a little crazy.
• When was the last time you changed your mind?
It was yesterday. Like I said, it happens daily, so I don't have to think a lot to think of a situation. Yesterday, I was super motivated. I had worked the whole morning, so my idea was, "Okay, I'm going to go get some lunch, and then I'm going to go to the beach." I went, I had lunch, and they gave me a lot of food and I cannot say no to food. You probably know it by this time. I was so full and very bloated. I just did not feel like going to the beach. I was like, "I've changed my mind." I went back at home and worked a little bit more, okay, so I was still productive.
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