Episode 140 • Crying
Cry on cue
Shed (a few) tears
Sob
Cry uncontrollably
Cry me a river
Story
[Knocking]
Clara: Come in.
Jess: What happened?
Clara: I got a C- on my stupid math test and now my mom won’t let me go to the concert.
Jess: For real?
Clara: Yep, for real.
Jess: But I mean, we’ve been planning this thing for months! It’s not like we get to go see The Rufuses live all the time. Who knows when we’re going to have this opportunity again?
Clara: I don’t know what to tell you, okay? I’ve tried everything.
Jess: You sure? Have you cried in front of her? That usually helps when I want to get something from my mom.
Clara: What? No, I- You know, I never cry.
Jess: No, I’m not talking about crying for real.
Clara: Wait, you can fake it?
Jess: Are you kidding me? I learned to cry on cue when I was 4 and it changed my life. Why do you think my mom lets me buy all these clothes?
Clara: To be honest with you, even if I could do it, I don’t think that shedding a few tears would work with my mom…
Jess: No, I’m not talking about shedding a few tears, I’m talking about actually crying, sobbing and everything. Come on, let’s try it, I can teach you.
Clara: Alright, what should I do?
Jess: Okay, open your mouth really wide, keep it open until you feel like you want to yawn. Okay now, hold it in. See? Your eyes are getting watery!
Clara: You’re right! It’s working!
Jess: Okay, now, you gotta open your mouth and then close it, but not all the way. Like this [mimics sobbing], see?
Clara: Oh my gosh, that looks so real. Okay, I think I got it. Go call my mom!
Jess: Okay, I’ll be right back! Mrs. Gomez, there’s something wrong with Clara, she’s like crying uncontrollably. Could you come real quick?
Mrs. Gomez: Alright, alright, what is happening?
Clara: I just- I really want to go to the concert. If I don’t go tonight then-
Mrs. Gomez: Oh, cry me a river. This is not going to work with me, Miss. You’ll be able to go out once you start bringing home good grades.
Jess: Wow, your mom’s tough.
Clara: I told you! Listen, you’re not going, right?
Jess: Listen, Clara, I’m sorry but I can’t miss it. I feel bad leaving you here but-
Clara: You can’t go without me!
Jess: Hey, you can’t use that with me. I’m the one who taught you that!
Clara: Oh, darn it!
Questions
Alright. So just so you know, I don't know if the steps that I mentioned in the story actually work, if you want to cry. I totally made them up so you can test them out and then let me know if they work because I haven't tried them.
Sleep on it
'I learned to cry on cue when I was 4 and it changed my life.'
• If you cry on cue, can you decide when to cry or does the crying happen when you don’t expect it?
If you cry on cue, that means that you can decide when to cry. Somebody tells you 'Go, cry' and boom, you start crying. That's what crying on cue is.
• Why would someone want to cry on cue?
Well, I think that the main reason why somebody would want to learn to cry on cue is because they're an actor. So they need that for their performances. Because obviously, if you're shooting like this very dramatic scene and you have to cry, you can't wait to have like a bad day and be like, Well, no, I'm actually pretty happy today. I don't think I can shoot this scene, and then wait for something bad to happen to shoot it. You have to shoot it no matter what. So yeah, actors do have to learn to cry on cue. But, you know, you can also learn to cry on cue, just like in the story, because it's convenient, because it helps you get out of situations. Now, it's not very ethical. I don't recommend it, but there's people who do do it.
• Can you cry on cue?
Well, I think I've mentioned before that I wanted to be an actress when I was little, so I actually I would try to cry on cue when I was younger, like ten or something. And I was pretty good at it. I remember I could get a couple of tears out. But in order to do that, I had to kind of go in a very dark space. I had to think of like something sad that had happened or something like that. And then that would get the tears started and I could take it from there. But, right now, I haven't tried in so long. I feel like I've been sad enough in my life. I don't- I don't want to force it on me, you know, I don't want to put myself in that space just to see if I can cry because I don't need it anyway. So I honestly I don't know if I can still cry on cue, but I used to be able to do it.
Shed (a few) tears
'… I don’t think that shedding a few tears would work with my mom…'
• If you shed a few tears, are you crying noisily or not?
No, usually if you shot a few tears, you are not producing any sounds with your mouth, with your voice. Shedding a few tears just literally means just having a few tears run down my face.
Sob
' I’m talking about actually crying, sobbing and everything.'
• If you sob, do you cry noisily or not?
Yes. If you sob, you do cry noisily. You produce different sounds with your mouth.
• What sound do you make when sobbing?
Alright. This is what sobbing sounds like. [sobbing] Alright. This is my impression of someone sobbing. So you see, you're kind of, like, gasping for air, at the same time you're making this very loud noise with your voice, and you're trying to like, you know, you're trying to speak. But a lot of times, if you're trying to speak while sobbing, which, you know, doesn't necessarily happen, you might just be sobbing and not speaking. But if you're trying to speak while sobbing, it might be really hard for you to put together a sentence because every time that you catch your breath, you need to pause.
• Do you usually sob when crying?
Yes, I usually sob when crying. I find it super cathartic. I- If I'm sad and then I cry and I sob, then I feel so much lighter afterwards. So I actually kind of like it. I mean, I don't like being sad, but if I am sad, I do prefer to let it out.
Cry uncontrollably
'…there’s something wrong with Clara, she’s like crying uncontrollably.'
• If you cry uncontrollably, can you contain your crying or not?
Obviously not. Because if you're crying uncontrollably, that means that you cannot control your crying. You might be sobbing. You might be making very loud noises. It feels- when you look at someone crying uncontrollably, it feels like no matter what you tell them, no matter what you do there, they have no control over their crying.
• When was the last time you cried uncontrollably?
Well, the last time I cried uncontrollably was on New Year's Eve. And you're probably going to be thinking what, Lara? But New Year's Eve is such a fun time. Well, not for me. I hate New Year's Eve. I've always hated it. But especially the last few years, I think it's even- it's gotten even worse. And I think it's because there's so much pressure around that holiday. I think it's a holiday- I think it's a day for extroverted people. So it's a it's a time to be loud. It's a time to be wild, to be around a lot of people, to kind of act a little crazy. And that is just so not me. Like, I just want a fun, quiet night in front of the TV, maybe play a few board games, whatever. But I just want a chill night. That's like my idea of a perfect night. And so I think that on New Year's Eve, I get super sad because I feel so different. And I- you know, I feel different on a lot of other days of the year. But on that one day specifically, I feel like the whole world wants something- wants kind of the same thing? And I go in the opposite direction. And so, yeah, and I was feeling very lonely, even though I was not alone, but I was just feeling very different, very lonely. And so, yeah, I spent quite a bit of time crying uncontrollably in bed by myself. But it's okay. That's okay. Don't feel bad for me. It's only one night out of the year. I can deal with that.
Cry me a river
'Oh, cry me a river. This is not going to work with me, Miss.'
Alright. If you used to be a Justin Timberlake's fan when the song Cry Me a River came out, you're going to love this expression. Because I remember I was, I don't know, maybe like 13 when that song came out. And I- it used to drive me crazy because I had I couldn't understand what the meaning of Cry Me a River was, and I couldn't look it up at the time. And so when I finally realized I was like, Oh, okay. So if you are a 90's kid like me and you had this doubt yourself, you're not going to have this doubt after this episode.
• If you tell someone “Cry me a river”, does that mean you’re feeling sympathy for them or not?
No. If you tell someone, cry me a river, that means that you're not feeling any sort of sympathy for them.
• Who would you say “Cry me a river” to? To someone who was crying or complaining or to someone who was telling a joke?
You would say 'Cry me a river' to someone who was crying or complaining. So if someone is talking to you, telling you- complaining about their lives, complaining about something that happened, maybe whining and you think that their sadness or their complaining, their crying is not justified for whatever reason and you're not feeling any sympathy towards them. You can tell them, Oh, cry me a river. And, you know, kind of like, oh, please, just like, shut up. Like, you're not entitled to cry right now. You know, your crying doesn't make sense.
• Have you ever witnessed someone cry or complain and thought “Cry me a river”?
never been in that position where I was in front of someone who was crying and never felt bad for them. I've always felt bad for them except for this one time. So I was in the States, I was an au pair at the time and I was taking care of two girls, two very wealthy girls. And I remember I was helping one of them get ready in the morning. We were in her closet and, mind you, she had this huge walk-in closet filled with clothes, all sorts of clothes. And that morning she was getting ready to go to school and she started crying because "she didn't have anything to wear", you know, that's what she kept saying. And I just I remember being so angry, you know, it was frustrating. We were kinda late and she was having this meltdown. And on top of that, like, you think, oh, my gosh, you're one of the luckiest girls in the world. You're rich, you got a great family. You have everything you could ever ask for. And yet here you are. You don't even realize it. And you're sad and complaining to me because you don't have enough clothes. And in that moment, I didn't say it to her, Well, first of all, she was like five years old. I'm not going to say that to a five-year-old. And secondly, I wanted to still be professional. But I guess if, you know, she was my daughter, I would have definitely told her, cry me a river. Like, please, just look at all this stuff that you have. No, her crying was just not justified at that time.
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