Podcast

Episode 44 • Sexy but classy

44

Smoking hot

Hit on someone

Play footsie

Toy boy

Wingman

Story

Chris: Dude, thanks for inviting me to your family Christmas party.
John: Yeah, no problem. Nobody likes to be alone during the holidays.
Chris: Yeah, plus I’ve met this woman… I’m telling you… she’s smoking hot. We were sitting at the table earlier. I thought she was hitting on me, you know, she was making jokes and stuff, but then I was was like, no… that’s impossible. And then… she started to play footsie with me! I mean… she’s a little older than me but I wouldn’t mind being her toy boy. I want to go talk to her but I don’t want to go by myself. Come on, can you be my wingman?
John: I don’t know, man…
Chris: Please! It’ll be my Christmas present…
John: Fine. Where is she?
Chris: Right over there, look! Hey! Hey, Janice! This is my friend John.
Janice: Hey John.
John: Hi, mom.

Questions

Okay then. It's time to talk about this week's expressions. I've tried to keep it as clean and PG 13 as possible, so nothing too out there, but still talking about sex in a way.

Smoking hot

'I’m telling you... she’s smoking hot.'

• If someone is smoking hot, are they attractive or not?

Well, yes, if someone is smoking hot, they are very attractive.

• Can a man be smoking hot?

Men can be smoking hot.

• What about a woman?

Yes. Also women. Smoking hot can be used for both men and women.

• Can you think of a famous person you think is smoking hot?

I can think of a few. I think I'm going to go with the classic Brad Pitt. I was born in 1989, so I'm a '90s girl. I was raised when Brad Pitt was the thing. Brad Pitt, I think is still, to this day, even though he's getting a little older but I think he's smoking hot.

Hit on someone

'I thought she was hitting on me.'

• If you hit on someone, how do you feel about them?

If you hit on someone, you are sexually attracted to that person. You decide to hit on them. Don't get confused with the word hit. There's nothing physical and especially, there's nothing violent about this.

• Can you hit on someone from a distance?

Well, this is tricky because hitting on someone usually implies starting a conversation. Imagine I'm hitting on you right now, listening to this episode, like, "Hey, so what's up? You got a boyfriend and, oh my gosh, you look great today." I'm hitting on you. I'm starting a conversation to let you know that I'm physically attracted to you and I'm sexually interested in you.

• What do you do when someone hits on you and you’re not interested?

I think it's a tricky situation for both men and women. You're at a party, someone notices you, they come and start hitting on you and you don't like them, or maybe you got a boyfriend or girlfriend. If this were to happen to me and it has happened to me in the past, even when this person knew exactly I had a boyfriend at the time, but he just thought it was a good idea to keep hitting on me, hoping that some somehow I would change my mind. I think it's important to be very clear. At least that's what I try to do and just be like, "Hey, listen, I'm not interested or I'm seeing someone, and so forth."

Play footsie

'She started to play footsie with me!'

• If you play footsie with someone, where are you usually sitting?

If you start playing footsie with someone or you to play footsie with someone they're usually sitting at a table.

• Is playing footsie something that’s usually done openly or in secret?

Well playing footsie it's something that's usually done in secret. Usually, the only two people that know that this is happening, that one is playing footsie with the other is the two people that are involved. The one that's playing footsie and the one the other person's playing footsie with.

• Which parts of the body touch when playing footsie?

Well, you're never going to believe this, but it's actually the foot. It's the foot and normally another foot. I'm sure you've seen it. Maybe it has never happened to you, but you must have seen it in a movie at some point in your life. Two people sitting at a table, one is interested in the other one and they want to let them know that they're sexually attracted to them or that they would like to do something sexual with them. Usually, it's something that's associated with women. Usually, the woman will take off her shoe and start to play footsie with the man. Maybe touching the ankle of the man or maybe touching the leg or even a little bit above. That's what playing footsie is.

• Have you ever played footsie with someone?

I have never played footsie with anyone. I don't know if people actually do it. Again, the only times I've witnessed it has been in movies, but that's also because like we said, it happens in secret. I don't know. Maybe somebody has played footsie in front of me and I just never noticed. No. Personally never played footsie with anybody and nobody has ever played footsie with me.

Toy boy

'I wouldn’t mind being her toy boy.'

• Is a toy boy a boy in a relationship with someone younger or older than him?

A toyboy is someone in a relationship with someone older than him. Usually much older. My boyfriend is a year younger than me. I cannot call him my toyboy because it wouldn't make sense. There isn't an exact amount of years of difference that you need to have. I would say maybe like six, seven years before you can start calling someone a toyboy. That's not a great term, so careful when you use it.

• Can you think of examples of female celebrities who are or have been in a relationship with someone younger?

One of the most famous couples at the moment with a big age difference is Priyanka Chopra. I think that's how you pronounce it, I'm not entirely sure, and Nick Jonah's from the Jonas Brothers. You can Google them. They have 10 years difference. Another good example is Lisa Boney and Jason Mamoa. You know Jason Mamoa from what's it called? Game of Thrones. They have an age difference of 12 years of that starting to get quite a lot. I think another really famous couple who they're no longer together, but there were together for quite a while and even got married, was Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. They had 16 years difference. Again, quite a lot. That's why Ashton Kutcher, for example, was referred to as Demi Moore's toyboy. Once again, not a great term, careful with who you use it and when you use it.

Wingman

'Come on, man. Can you be my wingman?'

• Who can be a wingman? A friend or someone you don’t know?

A wingman is usually a friend, a guy friend, or a girlfriend. Wingman, if it's a guy wingwoman, if it's a girl.

• When do you need a wingman? When you’re approaching a friend or someone you are attracted to?

When you are approaching a friend or when you are approaching someone you're attracted to. You usually need a wingman when you want to approach, when you want to go talk to someone that you are attracted to.

• Why would you need a wingman?

Well, imagine if you're at a bar. You want to go talk to a guy or a girl that you're interested in. Well, if you go by yourself, that person might feel very intimidated because it's going to be very clear why you're going there. If you go with a friend then there's not going to be that kind of pressure and also your friend can help you get a conversation started or it can help you look cooler in a way. It's a great help. It's a great support when you want to hit on someone when you want to flirt and start a conversation with someone you're attracted to.

• What do you think need to do in order to be a good wingman?

I think you need to know when it's time to speak and when it's not time to speak, because you don't want to attract all of the attention and you want to leave space for your friend, obviously, because you're the wingwoman or you're the wingman. You want to make sure that your friend is the one who shines. Just being mindful of when it's time to speak and what things to say and what things do you don't want to say because you don't want to ruin your friend's reputation.

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