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Podcast

Episode 51 • Getting married

51

Propose

Pop the question

Be engaged

Walk down the aisle

Tie the knot

Story

Lisa: Our train is coming, honey. What’s your seat number?
Jude: 3B. Lisa, I know it’s not the best moment… but it’s now or never, Lisa, honey, will [train passes] me?
Lisa: Oh my gosh, Jude! I can’t believe you finally proposed! You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this. I have to call Claire right away!
Jude: Hold on…
Lisa: Claire, Claire!! Jude just proposed!
Claire: No way! He finally popped the question, huh?
Lisa: Yes! We’re finally engaged!
Claire: Who would’ve thought you’d be the first to walk down the aisle?!
Jude: Honey, wait a second…
Claire: So, when are you going to tie the knot?
Lisa: I don’t know… we haven’t talked about-
Jude: Lisa, honey!
Lisa: What?
Jude: I just said “Will you switch seats with me?”
Lisa: Claire, I’m going to have to call you back.

Questions

Okay, so maybe it wasn't exactly the wedding story we'd expected.

Propose

'I can’t believe you finally proposed!'

• If you propose to someone, are you asking them to spend the rest of their life with you or to buy a house together?

If you propose to someone, you're asking them to spend the rest of their life with you, to get married.

• Traditionally, who’s the one proposing in the couple? The man or the woman?

I said traditionally, all right. We have all sorts of couples, and all are beautiful, and all are great, but traditionally, it's the man that proposes. Nothing wrong with a woman proposing, but traditionally, that's what happens.

• What did you say (or will you say) to someone you proposed to?

I have never proposed to anybody, and nobody's ever proposed to me. I do have a boyfriend and I've had boyfriends before, but we never got to that point. If I were to propose to someone, obviously, I would go for the standard like, "You're the most important person in my life, you mean the world to me." Just a nice speech before I actually propose and ask them to marry me.

Pop the question

'He finally popped the question, huh? '

• Traditionally, what are the words you say when you pop the question?

Traditionally, you say, "Will you marry me?" At least, in English, that's the most popular question to ask. Hey, you can ask whatever you want. You can be like, "Hey, dude, let's get married." Depending on how romantic or traditionally you are.

• Traditionally, which position are you in when you pop the question? Are you standing or kneeling down?

Usually-- this is the way we picture it, at least, is with the man kneeling down, so on one knee, showing the ring to the woman, that's the moment is when he pops the question.

• How long do you think you need to have dated someone before one of you pops the question?

This is a million-dollar question. Obviously, there's no right or wrong answer, it depends on the couple. I personally think you need to have spent enough time together. It doesn't really matter how long but let's say two years in a long-distance relationship, for example, are not the same as a year of living together. One year of living together, seeing each other every day, going through all the birthdays, all the celebrations, all the seasons, that really gives you a chance to see what a person is like and decide if you would like to spend the rest of your life with them.

Be engaged

'We’re finally engaged!'

• If you are engaged, can you break up with your partner?

I hope you don't have to, but yes, you can break up with your partner, even if you're engaged.

• And in that case, would you have to go through a divorce?

No. If you are engaged, there's no papers, there's no documents involved. It doesn't have any major consequences if you want to break up with your partner.

• What changes in your relationship after you’ve gotten engaged?

Well, not much really. The only thing that changes is that you start preparing for the wedding. You start looking for a venue. Maybe you start sending out the invitations, and all these things that go into planning a wedding.

• How long are people usually engaged for before getting married?

Again, this really depends, there's people they get engaged, and then two months later, they're already married. Maybe they go to Las Vegas and they do it super quickly. People that take years and years and years to plan the wedding and everything so it takes them a long time to get married. I think the average is about a year. That's usually how long it takes to plan a traditional wedding, at least in the United States, but it might vary in other countries.

Walk down the aisle

'Who would’ve thought you’d be the first to walk down the aisle?!'

• Is ‘walking down the aisle’ another way of saying ‘getting married’ or ‘getting engaged’?

Walk down the aisle is what you do when you're a bride when you're getting married so you're wearing-- in the US, your white dress, and you walk all the way to the altar. Walking down the aisle means getting married.

• When do you think you’ll walk down the aisle or how long ago did you walk down the aisle?

When do you think you'll walk down the aisle or how long ago did you walk down the aisle if you're already married? Guys, like I said, I've never been married. Unfortunately, I don't think I ever will. I don't think I'll ever walk down the aisle. Right now, I'm in a relationship with my boyfriend, Marcos. Hi, Marcos. He listens to me, so 'ah' take that. He doesn't want to get married. We talked about this. We haven't finished discussing this but yes, he doesn't want to get married. I think I will never get to walk down the aisle, which is pretty sad but there's worse things in life.

Tie the knot

'When are you going to tie the knot?'

• Is ‘tying the knot’ another way of saying ‘getting married’ or ‘getting engaged’?

Tie the knot, just like walk down the aisle, means to get married

• How old do you think you need to be in order to tie the knot?

Again, it can change. There's people that get married at 20, even younger than that, and people that wait until they're in their 40s or 50s. Some people get married and tie the knot more than once in their life. Personally, what I think is the later the better. The later in life, the better. Because we change so much as human beings and getting married early on, I don't think it's a great idea. It may work out perfectly and you may find the perfect match and maybe you grow together, but chances are you're going to change a lot in your life and the more you wait, the better match you will be able to find. That's what I think, but if you're happily married and have been married ever since you were 20, I'm super, super happy for you and a little bit jealous.

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