Podcast

Episode 79 • Honesty

79

Spit it out

Honesty is the best policy

Blunt

Tell it like it is

Straight shooter

Story

Tracy: Hanna! Hi! Wow, you look… different!
Hanna: I know! I got a haircut! I was just so tired of that long hair.
Tracy: Wow! Okay!
Hanna: What? You don’t like it, do you?
Tracy: No, no. Why would you say that. Of course I do. You look great! Really!
Hanna: You were about to say something! Spit it out! What is it?
Tracy: I don’t know what you’re talking about. You look fine!
Hanna: Tracy, you know what they say, honesty is the best policy. So, come on, tell me. What is it?
Tracy: Fine, you asked for it! Sorry to be blunt, but… you look like a mushroom.
Hanna: Uhm, rude!
Tracy: Sorry, I’m just- I’m just telling it like it is! I can’t believe that hairdresser did this to you. Are you sure she’s qualified? I mean… this does not look like a professional haircut…
Hanna: Yeah, of course! I mean… Maybe she didn’t have a lot of experience but… You know what? Now you’re just being mean.
Tracy: No, I’m not. You know me, you know I’m a straight shooter. I just think we should go back to the place and – I don’t know – say something to this lady. I just can’t believe that –
Hanna: Alright, fine, enough. You’re right… It wasn’t the hairdresser that did this. It was me! I did it to myself! I watched a tutorial on YouTube and cut my own hair!
Tracy: Oh baby… That’s okay… It’ll grow back in a couple of months… Okay, maybe a couple of years…
Hanna: Boohoo

Questions

Well, guys, guess what? Most of my stories, no, not like most of my stories but like some of my stories, this was actually based on a true story, and yes, it's based on my true story a few days ago. I'll tell you about it some other time.

Spit it out

'You were about to say something! Spit it out! What is it?'

• To whom would you say ‘spit it out’? Someone who is confessing something or someone who is not confessing something?

If someone is not confessing something, you know that they want to, they're kind of on the fence, they're about to say it but they didn't say it and you want them to say it, then you can encourage them by saying, "Hey, spit it out. Just tell me."

• Do you actually want them to spit something out?

No, you don't want them to spit anything out in this case, but you're just telling them as a way, again, of encouraging them to tell you the truth, to tell you what's on their mind.

Honesty is the best policy

'Tracy, you know what they say, honesty is the best policy.'

• What does ‘honesty is the best policy’ mean? That you should always tell the truth or that sometimes it‘s okay to hide the truth?

'Honesty is the best policy' is something people say when they want to say that it's always the best thing that you can do is to always tell the truth, is to always be honest, no matter what the consequences might be.

• What do you think? Do you think honesty really is the best policy?

No, I can't say that. Honesty is the best policy all the time. I think 99% of the time, yes, honesty is the best policy, but sometimes you might not want to be completely honest with someone in order to protect them. I think that's okay. Yes, no, I don't 100% agree with that but mostly, yes, I do agree with that.

Blunt

'Fine, you asked for it! Sorry to be blunt, but… you look like a mushroom.'

• If you are or are being blunt, are you saying exactly what’s on your mind or are you keeping something to yourself?

If you're being blunt, you're saying exactly what's on your mind. You're not putting any filters. You're just saying whatever it is that you're thinking at the moment.

• If someone is blunt do they take into consideration the feelings of the other person?

No. That's why being blunt is not necessarily positive, because if you're being blunt, so on the one hand, it's good because you're being honest and obviously being honest is good but on the other hand, that means that whatever you're saying, you're saying it in a way that does not take into consideration the feelings of the other person, so it might mean that you could hurt the other person. Just think of the story. The girl could have said something like, "Your haircut is in great." But she was being blunt and she just said, "You look like a mushroom." Because that's what she was thinking and she just said that regardless of how that comment was going to affect her friend.

• When was the last time you had to be blunt?

I think it was maybe a week ago because my boss asked me to create a challenge that people could participate in to practice their English. Well, first of all, I didn't think it was a great idea, but I didn't tell him at the time, but then later, he was more specific about what kind of challenges he wanted me to have him face and I didn't like some of them. At that point, I just had to be blunt and I told him like, "I think this challenge is not very useful. I think this is not a great idea." I was very blunt with him. I didn't go great. He listened to me and he was just like, "Yes, no, but I like it. So whatever, we're going to do this."

Tell it like it is

'Sorry, I’m just- I’m just telling it like it is!'

• If you tell it like it is, do you describe a situation honestly or do you avoid discussing a few unpleasant details?

If you tell it like it is, once again you say something without any filters, you say something just the way things are and in the most objective way that you can. You tell it like it is. You're describing things the way they are, even if that means that it might hurt the other person.

• Do you normally tell it like it is?

No, I don't, because I'm too scared of offending the other person or hurting the other person. I usually do not tell it like it is, but I like people that do. I really admire people that tell it like it is because I think they're very genuine and they're very open and honest and I like them very much, but at the same time, I've tried, but I can't tell it like it is, especially with a friend or someone that I really care about.

Straight shooter

'No, I’m not. You know me, you know I’m a straight shooter.'

• If someone is a straight shooter, are they very honest or not so much?

A straight shooter is a very honest person. It has nothing to do with shooting. It just means that you're very direct, so you are very honest.

• Is being a straight shooter considered a positive or negative thing?

Again, just because it says shooter does not mean it's a negative thing. If you are a straight shooter, it's actually a very positive thing because it means that you're very, very honest.

• Do you know someone who is a straight shooter?

I think most of my friends are straight shooters because I just like people that are that way. I just like people that are very open and direct and if they have to tell me something, they're going to tell me something. Like I said, I'm not like that, but I like people that are like that. I think, for example, my friend Tini, his first name is Andre, but he's a straight shooter. If he's got something to say to me and he doesn't matter how painful or how hurtful it might be, he just says it and I love that about him. That's also something that I hate about him, because sometimes he'll say something that'll hurt me, but he's definitely a straight shooter. Very, very honest and direct person.

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