Episode 81 • Hair
Hairdresser: Hello and welcome to Splendid Hair Salon. Is this your first time here?
Client: Yes, I just moved to the neighborhood.
Hairdresser: Oh, wonderful! Okay, what would you like to do today?
Client: Well, I think, just a trim. I have a lot of split ends.
Hairdresser: Wow, yeah, I see it. When was the last time you got your hair cut.
Client: Oh, I don’t know… Two? Three years ago?
Hairdresser: Alright sweety, no problem. You just relax, and I’ll take care of your hair. It won’t take long, sweetheart.
Hairdresser: And voilà! All done, what do you think?
Client: What-? What’d you do to my hair? It’s- It’s gone! You gave me a buzz cut? Why- Why would you do that?
Hairdresser: Well, honey, I don’t mean to be rude but your hair was really damaged. Oh, and I actually see you have quite a few gray hairs, would you like to go ahead and dye your hair?
Client: Dye what? There’s nothing left to dye! You’ve chopped off all my hair!
Hairdresser: Well, let’s look on the bright side. No more split ends.
Client: I guess…
Okay, remember a couple of episodes ago when I was saying that the story about the mushroom haircut was actually based on a true story. Well, this one too. Now I'm going to tell you a little bit more about what I did over the last few days.
'Well, I think, just a trim. I have a lot of split ends.'
• If you ask for a trim, how much of your hair will be cut? A lot or just a little?
If you ask for a trim, they should cut your hair only a little.
• Will a trim completely change a haircut?
No, if you go in for a trim, it means that you want to keep the same haircut, but you just want to shorten your hair a bit, just very, very little.
• Why would some people choose to get just a trim?
Some people decide to get a trim because maybe their hair is damaged, and they need to cut the part that's damaged, but just a little bit, and usually the people that just want to get a trim are either people that like their haircut, and they don't want to change it, and people that like the length, and they don't want to change the length too much.
• How often should you get a trim?
I think what they suggest is between three and six months. Every three to six months, I'm talking especially for people that have longer hair. If you want to make sure that it stays healthy, I think you should get a trim, like I said, between every three to six months. I don't do that [laughs] but that's what people say. That's what I read online.
'Well, I think, just a trim. I have a lot of split ends.'
• If you have split ends, does that mean your hair is healthy or not?
If you have split ends, it means that your hair is damaged.
• What causes splint ends?
I think a lot of heat, for example, if you blow-dry your hair, or if you curl it or straighten it a lot, that can cause split ends. Or even if you brush your- I was going to say teeth. If you brush your hair really, really hard, it could cause the hair to get damaged. That's how you would get split ends.
• What can you do to remove split ends?
Unfortunately, I think the only thing that you can do to remove split ends is cutting the hair off, cutting that part of hair that is damaged. I don't think there's anything else. I think there's shampoos that promise you that they're going to get rid of your split ends, but I don't think that that's possible.
• Do you have split ends?
No, at this time, I'm pretty sure I have no split ends. I've had them before when my hair was really long, but now my hair is really, really short because I did something very, very stupid a few days ago. At least I'm sure that I don't have any split ends.
'You gave me a buzz cut?'
• How long is your hair when you have a buzz cut?
If you have a buzz cut, that means that your hair is super, super short everywhere. Okay? You don't have longer sections. No, everything is super short. You can almost see your scalp, you can almost see your head.
• Are buzz cuts more popular among men or women?
I think buzz cuts are more popular among men just because women prefer to have longer hair, but who knows, maybe things will change, and your haircut is a fashion statement. Who knows?
• Have you ever given yourself a buzz cut or have you ever though of doing it?
No. Oh gosh, no [laughs]. I don't think I would look good with a buzz cut. I have a pretty round face. Especially when I smile. I look like a ball basically, and I don't think I would look great with a buzz cut because that would make my face look even more round. No, hopefully, I will never have to do it. I think it would be very practical and very convenient because then it's easier when you shower. I actually envy men a lot because they don't need to worry about their hair, but I don't think I'll ever do it.
'... would you like to go ahead and dye your hair?'
• If you dye your hair, what happens to it? Do you change its color, texture or length?
If you dye your hair, you're going to change its color. You can make it darker, you can make it lighter. You can make it purple, you can make it whatever color you want.
• Why do people decide to dye their hair?
I think for two main reasons. Number one, for fun, because it's fun to have blue hair once in your life, or for the reason why I do it, which is to cover the gray hairs.
• Do you dye your hair? If yes, how often do you dye it?
Yes, I dye my hair and it's a struggle because I don't like doing it. I try to do it twice a month because I get a lot of gray hairs now. I'm 31 but I do get a lot of gray hairs. Yes, I try to do it at least twice a month.
'You’ve chopped off all my hair!'
• If you chop something off, do you add it or remove it?
If you chop something off, you remove it, you cut it off and remove it.
• What kind of tool do you need to chop something off?
It depends on what you're chopping off. If it's hair, you're going to need scissors, but anyway, you're going to need some sort of sharp tool. If you're Mulan, you can use a sword to chop off your hair. You can chop off some other stuff, but it's used a lot with hair, especially if you cut off a lot of hair at once.
• Have you ever chopped off your hair?
Yes, and this is what I was going to talk to you about. This is something that I did a few days ago because I was by myself. I should not be allowed by myself in the bathroom with a pair of scissors when I don't like my hair, because I know what's going to happen and it happens every time. I'm trying to grow out my hair, but I keep chopping it off. That's what I did a few days ago. I had a pair of scissors. I was just not feeling my hair. I did not like it. I did not like the haircut that the hairdresser had given me, and so I said, "You know what? I'm going to chop it all off," and I had my hair in a ponytail, and boom. I just took the pair of scissors and chopped it all off. Actually, I don't regret it. It's one of those rare times when I don't regret chopping off my hair.
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