Episode 93 • Anger
Go ballistic
Overreact
For crying out loud
The last straw
Give someone a piece of your mind
Story
Dad: What- What happened, son? Did- Did that guy make fun of you again? Ugh, I swear- Where is he?
Son: No, dad, please. This is exactly why I didn’t tell you , because I knew you’d go ballistic. It’s not that bad, dad. Seriously… You‘re overreacting.
Dad: I’m overreacting? This guy has been torturing you all year, for crying out loud! I’m your dad, I’m supposed to protect you. I haven’t done anything yet because your mom didn’t want me to but this is it! This is the last straw!
Son: Dad, no, listen, you don’t und-
Dad: I’m sorry, but I gotta do something. Which one is it? I’m gonna go up there and I’m going to give him a piece of my mind. What’s his name again?
Son: Charlie. But dad, dad…
Dad: Hey, hey you, buddy. Are you Charlie, listen. We’ve got a problem, I’m done with you-
Charlie’s friend: I’m- I’m not Charlie. This is Charlie.
Charlie: What?
Dad: You’re, you’re Charlie. I thought you were a bit shorter and skinnier… Well, you… take care, okay?
Alright, son, let’s go…
Son: But dad I thought you were-
Dad: Just walk. Is he following us? Let’s walk faster…
Questions
My throat kind of hurts from playing the dad.
Go ballistic
'This is exactly why I didn’t tell you , because I knew you’d go ballistic.'
• When you go ballistic, how angry do you get?
When you go ballistic, you get really, really angry.
• Do you get angry little by little or all of a sudden?
It happens suddenly. It happens all of a sudden. If you go ballistic, you're fine, and then somebody tells you something or somebody does something and you just go ballistic. You just get crazy angry.
• When was the last time you went ballistic?
I don't go ballistic very often, but I think it was maybe a year and a half ago. My boyfriend was away. He was in Germany and we were having trouble with the long-distance relationship. I was mostly having trouble with it. I remember we face-timed at one point and he was on the train and he had just met with his ex, which I was fine with. I know they're friends, I'm cool with that, I try to be, but then I look and I see he's got a bracelet that he had never worn before, and so I ask him. The moment I asked him, I knew. He said it was something that his ex had given him. And you betcha. I went ballistic. I just went crazy there. I got so, so, so mad.
Overreact
'Seriously… You’re overreacting'
• If you overreact, do you show too much emotion or too little?
If you overreact, you show too much emotion.
• If you overreact, are your actions or feelings rational or not?
No. Well, maybe according to you, yes, but for other people what you're feeling or what you're doing may not be rational. It's a reaction that you're having that they might think is too big for that type of situation. Again, you may not think so, and people may have different opinions on what is reacting in a normal way and overreacting, but usually, you tend to see it when you think someone is not acting rationally.
• Do you think you sometimes overreact?
I think I only overreact. [chuckles] I don't have normal reactions ever. Overreacting doesn't necessarily mean that you get angry, you can also get very emotional or very sad. Just anything that means experiencing too much in general, but yes, a lot of times it's associated with anger. I think I always overreact, for some reason. I make a big deal out of pretty much everything, unfortunately. So yes, I definitely overreact. Don't tell me I'm overreacting when I'm overreacting because I will get really mad.
For crying out loud!
'This guy has been torturing you all year, for crying out loud.'
• When you use the expression ‘for crying out loud!’, how are you feeling? Angry and impatient or calm and relaxed?
You're definitely feeling angry and impatient.
• Where does the expression ‘for crying out loud!’ go? At the beginning or at the end of a sentence?
You can actually use it just by itself. When you're really angry and just sick of a situation, you can just say, "Oh, for crying out loud!" Just as a way to let out a little bit of frustration and anger, but you usually put it at the end of a sentence. So, "I told you to clean the dishes, for crying out loud! You just put it at the end to emphasize the fact that you're angry.
• Think of someone or something that annoys you. Now try to use the expression ‘for crying out loud!’.
I have a great example that I can give you based on a true fact from yesterday. I'd asked my boyfriend to take out the trash. I had been taking care of the house for a few days, I was doing pretty much everything, and I literally asked him a couple of days ago, "Listen, I only ask one thing of you. Can you please take out the trash?" Sure thing, he forgot. He left for the weekend and I was stuck with trash. He wasn't there, but if he had been there, I would have probably said something like, "I told you to take out the trash, for crying out loud!"
The last straw
'I haven’t done anything yet because your mom didn’t want me to but this is it! This is the last straw!'
• If a problem is the last straw, had you experienced other problems before?
Yes. The last straw is the last problem after a series of problems.
• Were these problems related to the same situation?
Yes. You got a problem, I don't know, that has to do with work or that has to do with a relationship or a friendship, whatever, and something happens. Oh no. Then something happens again. Aargh, I'm getting angrier and angrier, and things keep happening until you get to the point where it's the last straw. It's the final problem that you cannot deal with anymore because you're too angry because of everything that's been happening.
• If something is the last straw, do you still have some patience left in you?
No. When you say, "This is the last straw," you are saying that because that is the moment when you've got no patience left in you. You were patient up until that point, but now it's too much. It has become too much.
• When was the last time you thought ‘That’s the last straw’?
I think the last time I thought 'This is the last straw' was at my old job because I didn't like the way my boss was handling things. I remember specifically during one meeting, he said something that got me so angry, and I remember thinking, "That's it. This is the last straw and I'm going to quit." I did, a few days later, I did.
Give someone a piece of your mind
'I’m gonna go up there and I’m going to give him a piece of my mind.'
• If you give someone a piece of your mind, do you hit them or talk to them?
If you give someone a piece of your mind, you usually do that because you're angry, but you're just going to talk to them. You're not going to hit them. It might lead to you hitting them later, but giving someone a piece of your mind is just talking to them.
• If you give someone a piece of your mind, what do you talk to them about?
Well, you definitely do not talk about the weather. If you give someone a piece of your mind, you're talking to them because you want to let them know why you're angry with them, what they did that was so wrong, the consequences that that will have. It's just a way to let this other person know that you're angry for something that they did.
• When was the last time you gave someone a piece of your mind?
Again, sorry to bring it up again, but I think it was with my boss. Right towards the end of our collaboration, we had another meeting, and I told him everything. I gave him a piece of my mind. I told him why I thought he was not treating me fairly. I was very open and honest and angry while I was saying that. I was crying, but I was still angry. I definitely gave him a piece of my mind, and I'm happy I did because at the end of the day, when you're angry, letting the other person know that you're angry makes you feel so much better than just keeping it to yourself. As long as you're not hurtful, I think it's okay to give someone a piece of your mind.
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